well,  today, i attempt to read back those history (icq) between me and him. I could sense the diference, in the sense of talking and chatting, before the courtship, both of us like buddies, during the courtship, we flirt and behave so differently meanwhile after the courtship, we talk as if we are rival of the century. Funny isn't it? but that's what i could analyze through the log. Seriously, in these 2 years, both of us changed a lot, me : especially, from a innocent young lady i turn into a heart breaker, a woman with full of passion and a woman with love-hate relationship with some nice chaps around. If you ask me, whether i still love him. I must say YES, but will this LOVE last forever?  Frank ly, i can't answer you!  I have doubts on it. Perhaps, when things started to drift and set apart, we took no  initiative to mend the wound, but we watched how this wound got severe. Sometimes, i did ask myself, why could i love such a guy. A MR. Wrong in a Mr Right mask. But obviously, i never regret knowing him or sparing him another chance, eversince the 'shit' happened two years back. Infact, i know God is generous enough to allow us to have the second chance to patch things up.. but we ( both of us) make no effort to retain this relationship. Perhaps, we are one of the kind which has high egoism, WE EXPECT our partner to contribute and striving whereas we'll be the receiving parties. So, none of us willingly to do the sacrifices.. that's why our relationship is at a stake.